I've Lost Interest... DRAFTED

I lost interest in Oriental spices
I lost interest in who have got lice
I lost interest in using my wok
Then I lost interest in checking my clock

I lost interest in the testaments on Jesus Christ
And I lost interest in my penis size
I lost interest in the needle in my arm
And I lost interest in the scar on my palm

Just fade away
I wanna fade away
Just fade away
I wanna fade fade away

I lost interest in this song
I lost interest in the throng
I lost interest in my spiritual health
I lost interest in myself

I lost interest in my family
I lost interest in my genealogy
I lost interest in my great great niece
And she lost interest in me

I lost interest in Nikolai Gogol
I lost interest in Brigitte Bardot
I lost interest in the health of my bed
Now three months stained plus patches dried red

I lost interest in my literary aspiration
I lost interest in the potential of exaltation
I threw myself into a hole of existential grief
And all that did was make me grind my teeth

Fade away
Just fade away
I wanna fade away,
Just fade away...

I lost interest in the reality
That I'd found that so terrified me
I lost interest in my battle to be free
Another realm was closing in, and a fisher of souls netted me...

...I opened my eyes with no surprise, a glimmer of a hospital bed
And I had no interest, being lost in my puzzled little head
I saw many trees standing by me but could not hear the voice of the trees
Then I saw on notes by my bed, prognosis 'prefrontal lobotomy'

And now I've no interest, somewhere on page 24
And I see though do not speak to the Devil at my door
Everywhere is white, and clinically so,
The angels are screaming, and I've got to go.

(eighteen months later)

Now I have interests
That keep me ticking over
I like watching my own plant grow.
For they've let me take charge
Of the best plant in the ward -
The devil, the plant, then me.

AJ Buttle 2010