Watch this film on Jungian psychology. Fascinating!!

SORRY

To anyone reading this, there is a temporary loss of reception. The circuits to my mind have been tapped, and some fucker's siphoning any enthusiasm or creativity for life out of my ocassionally brimming brain. APOLOGIES TO ALL

Symptoms in Schizophrenia (circa 1940's)

Raw Bones

I stick a needle in my eye
The vein is small
And so am I

I stick a needle in my fem
My head does nod
No tomorrow then

I stick a needle in my neck
Come dance with me
My dance with Death

In Time...?

In time and in no time,
In tune and misfortune,
Disrobed from society's straitjacket
And flowing in your funeral gowns.
Imperfect perception and in precise perception
And in manifold receptions in multiple transmissions.
In tune with the notes of disdain,
And the lowering of the eyes.
He has spoken to God,
And we are all spies.
And his journey to Hell
He's won at first prize.

AJ Buttle March 2011

Mother Nature In All Her Glory

I'm tied to nature unfolding
Oh mama, I'm so tired of this nature unfolding
Backs are breaking
And the money they're making!
Let the black sun rise
And the bad moon fall black
Into my hands
It breaks my back
Nature, she's on the attack.
She's got around to me -
It's my turn for her mood to be black

The roles have reversed
A greater power
A perverse dig
You're gonna make me fall
With this weight

AJ Buttle February 2011

Tom & Jerry

Hypnotic Gaze reflects Tom's heartbeat-slow state of mind,
It's a little mouse called Jerry.
Tom's motionless moonlight stance, then
Sense the lull before the dance and
Lets loose this dog of war,
A flashing swipe with
Tom's hook claws,
No retreat for what's in store,
And then the decisive needling teeth and,
"Oh come finish me!"
Tom's charitable vice-like jaws.

That hypnotic gaze,
"I'm gonna play for days,
I'll let him think he's free",
Tom caught him once more in his eyes,
(His leg was broke by then - easy - Jerry gonna too fast die)
"So I'll
Toss him high
So he can see the birds
Flyin' free and high".
And Jerry can
Wish for the life
With the doves and the kites
In the
Soaring truly vast sweet skies.

Close your eyes
Little Jerry,
It's no surprise
To see the neutral grimace
In the mirror
Of your fading eyes.

AJ Buttle February 2011

The King and I

I am King of all on Earth
I am Absolute
I rule with rod and iron my country and my god my father looks well down on me
And my subjects the worms squirm at my toes
They slither beneath my feet and do feel pain
I bestow some of my kingdom to the higher subjects, the snakes
I hold Court wherever I be
I watch with my beady eyes as
A Golden Eagle soaring in the sky
Spying acts of weakness -
Where to spike the knife
Timing is everything in this business

The growing piles of butchered feverishly simmering bodies
From the youthfully precocious
To the Old begging at their sons feet
There is famine about I am told by my spies
War, Famine and Pestilence
And the Medieval mounds grow
My daffodils and violets are abundant with energy
And my subjects enjoy a new indulgence called cannibalism -
Everything is well and as it should be


One of the worms asked
"Is the Second Coming at hand?
"Are you the Messiah my God has promised?"
And the man tattered and torn held up his hands worn, blistered and tiring of this earth replied
"Yes, I am the New Messiah. Have you not learnt? You thought your king might be God's chosen Son?
"In my name you snakes you princes commit genocide and others live not by my word but as a heathen,
"Blaspheming and murder is as nothing to you
"You shut the door on the poor downcast and the falling and fallen
"Not thinking "there but for the Grace of God"
"Thus you have failed
"My heart is tears dyed red with your blood
"My heart is shattered as forked lightening in black and blue sky
"Pour some opiate into me for I leave you to your sinning and My Father's wrath to come
"He will cast you into muddied and heaving gutted waters that were once blue as summers sky
"You will see all your sins unfold before you when slowly drowning
"Then you will enter your personal domain -
"Your nightmares have given you hints as to how you will exist"

And the ice sheets melted and the more they melted the faster they melted
The Godless tread water and were treading water and tiring
(Give me an anchor to root me to the sea, and I will feel happy, secure, and I will be free.)
And the pain just starts for the masses who are not God's Saints
The thumbscrews are nothing compared to
Your life being replayed and replayed
Despair growing at every new nuance of error in life ensuring I sit here
Watching my life being replayed.

AJ Buttle January 2011

A Rake - See Poem Below

The Price Of Lead

I was writing some nonsense verse, or virtually nonsense verse, on Facebook, and decided it was such a work of genius, that it contained such profound truths (especially when I bring in the relationship between myself and the rake), I had to post it on my weblog. Be warned, this poem is of such power, it may remain with you until your dying day - even your dying words may be a line from this poem or an allusion to it. I leave this warning, because people have told me of the tremendous impact this poem has had upon their lives, whether positive, but sadly mainly negative. You have been warned!

Here Goes...

Yes, I can tell I'm a little short of sleep,
much more or less and I will weep,
a cliff to climb it is so steep,
the ocean is a mile deep.
a leap of faith I have to take
in order to buy a second-hand rake.
now it's time for a cup of golden tea,
but I've lost my kettle, and my kettle's lost me,
for this here poem it's more than i can take,
any more crap like this
and my laptop may break.

Oh my Lord, for goodness sake,
I've bought a cuppa and drunk a rake.
just before I drive and swiftly take,
a book to read before I wake.
and before I climb into my bed,
I'll laugh so much until I'm dead.

I'd dreamed this way my life I'd take,
while grasping my tea,
and sipping my rake.
in retrospect a decent way to go,
and done just in time before the snow.

So when you read this
I'll be gone and dead.
were you aware of
the price of lead?

AJ Buttle, November 2010

Our time in a torrent or in a lake deep and still
It will pass,
And strongly or weakly the wind in our sails
On and on it shall blow,
And throughout one or both, we tell our stories,
May grow old.
We dutifully took up the reigns that we were given,
In so doing with sharp rivets we were nailed upon the cross.
Our hearts tossed in tumultuous torrent rapids,
Toward the gutters and the drains deep dark underground.

And in years to come,
A man shaking his bloodied fists
And broken tears as shattered glass
Directed where the Holy Spirit reigns,
Where the swallows sing, looking upwards on high.
He never got a little tiny break,
In the stillness and the star struck night,
His spine-tingling wailing cries,
O why,
O why,
O why,
Crying for those he loved and loves,
Why oh why they had and have to die -
it's more than this man can take.

And she lives her years,
Much more and she will break,
Her baby boy sustains her and will make her smile,
But this woman needs more, she wants to wait with rapid beating heart,
She carries a vacuum heavy boulder in her heart and womb,
She needs so much more than this life this empty tomb!

An explosion of life, fireworks shoot and colours fly
So high, and the backdrop of the silver moonlit sky behind,
Let me give that to you, make love, fill that void
In which you exist.
Bring the trees with palms exotically,
The flowers trembling to life seeking warmth, the water lillies
And the pond I see, your reflection,
Your profound beauty
Rippling among the waters and flowers
In those short and desperate hours.

Woman, you know who you are,
You bring so much beauty,
It's not in you to bring despair!
One day you may find me there,
All wandering and lost
But when I see your face,
My brightening face,
I am lost no more.

AJ Buttle 19 November 2010

The Chocolate Mouse (after reading, I realise it needs plenty of work)

And he left his house....in a box...And how it began was consequence of a stolen chocolate mouse!

The food for the week was brought to his back door step,
He could stay in the house in which he thought and he wept,
For to his never-ending grief his dear kid had stolen -
She had stolen, It was a chocolate mouse!

Oh people don't laugh, it had cause and effect,
It wasn't no trifle that time had swept,
She was off to Hell because of her action

Surely her misdeed was due to a toddler's whim?
Oh Lord, it was just a chocolate mouse,
She'd not run off with someone else's house.

I'm told she's off to Hell 'cause you must not steal!
It's a sin to steal, whatever the deal,
Or that's what
That nun at school had taught me, =======

[WORKING ON THIS - SO IGNORE]

It's a sin to steal even a chocolate mouse,
That's what the nun had told me,
That you'd burn for eternity;
You'd get no respite.
A chocolate mouse!
Oh, I'm so frightened for my kid!
A chocolate mouse,
It's all she ever did,
Steal a chocolate mouse! [trail off]

"Oh, you, nun, what did you do to my head?
"You've petrified me!
"She's a good girl, I tell yer she truly is,
"She doesn't deserve to burn in flames forever!
"Didn't Jesus say that He'd forgive?
"Oh you, nun, deliver my kid,
"Oh please will you deliver my kid?
"Tell me you must have sinned indeed you did",
I asked the nun respectfully?
"Tell me, tell me what you did,
"God help me!
"Not a chocolate mouse you stole, 'cause you're way too thin too thin,
"No, I'm a nun and I never did sin" she told me,
"Apart of course from that passed on,
"Just like you 'n' your kid if y'all never done wrong
"But your girl, she has done wrong!"
Said nun to me, tones of mocking superiority:
"It is God that deemed sin,
"It wasn't me,
"I didn't scheme this creed,
"It wasn't me that made our dear Son bleed
"So don't blame me, 'cause I'm way too thin
"Never a chocolate mouse did I steal and never did I sin!"

She must feel love,
Oh Lord! she's gotta feel love;
Children are our lambs, the are meek,
They don't go out and deliberately steal
Chocolate mice, even one a week,
When they're just three - years - old,
An innocent lamb of God turning three years old!

I don't mind saying that nun has really hurt me,
She's really hurt me so deep down inside,
And the longer I think about my little girl sufferin',
The more I cannot stand these thoughts -
The more I just wanna die!

So one day, after my one hour per week visiting right -
I'd felt despondent, resigned, all night,
And I'd bought my little sunshine girl -
(thank God she don't know her fate) -
Two chocolate mice,
And believe me, her smile and laughter made me feel so warm inside
And I loved an' laughed to see her suckin' her fingers clean of
Those chocolate mice that'd made that nun so mean.

When my baby left I wrote a letter of intent,
That my purse of money is for her alone to be spent, be there whenever she wants,
So she can buy her chocolate mice with money not lent,
(I'd got saved a hundred pounds and a lucky charm an American cent).

And a letter I wrote, this being my last will & testament.
Some pills I'd let build up that the doc had sent,
Some pills, they're meant to stop me feeling bad,
These pills, they're meant to stop me feeling sad.
But how can my doctor make me feel good
When I know a sword hangs over her head,
Knowing what will happen to my baby
When I'm dead and gone.

So I'm leavin' now,
I know when I'm beat,
I can't fight with God out on the street:
The dull orange streetlight making shadowy image,
Of a man unclothed kicking and punching at the air,
It made a spectacle, some from safe distance stood and stared
It was later they said that man was mad,
It became folklore round abouts,
The tale was sad.

So pray good folk for my beloved girl,
And pray I misheard that nun,
When I was my baby's age in years now gone,
A chocolate mouse I stole, 't was fun.
Maybe it's karma catching up, as they say,
A generation gap, my baby would pay.

Dinner plates and metal crates clashing smashing dinner hall -
For it was that remark
That the mean nun took
In her stride that had started it all.

Dedicated To Fiona Hindley nee Melland...
...written by AJ Buttle, 16 November, 2010...

Ed of the Plains (UNDER CONSTRUCTION)

there is a land barren and black
black as the witches hat and cat
you see, he just got into a bit of a mess
he didn't know the twisted mind
he babysitted for his friends
he was seen by neighbours as simple and kind

his mother was a dominant woman
she had everything ruled like a hundred lines
you say god hates sinners 100 times
if you did wrong in her wide righteous eyes
you'd wish the day would take you away
and there'd never been this cruel cruel world
but she is right,so right, god is within her
she is RIGHT,
and anyone who disrespected her
his eyes would narrow and redden
he'd dream of gettin' them
and gettin' them real good
good that they're swimmin'
yeah, they're swimmin' in their own blood
their own blood
(he killed his brother with a shovel) SCREAM
said it was a shooting accident
his grieving mother did not forget
and she'd hit the other son with THE gavel

she died
there she lied
no peace for her
he dug her grave in silver light
the minister didn't know anything about
how she liked her hair brushing
how if she heard a cuss word
her cheeks would be red blood red
yeah he dug his mother up
...and that was when things started to get real weird
the walls once white turned a-red
these colours of anger and sadness in his head
"oh mother read the good book for me
just like you used to every night
i won't complain, i've seen the light
teach me about Jesus and Jonah
those people'd thought i'd outgrown yer
i'll hold your dress until the sun has dried the earth
until the cars turn to rust
until all objects man made turn to dust
I'll hold you while you just rest
I'll look after your Sunday best
Thunderbolts won't come upon me
Lightening strikes so bright will show my path -
The righteous path I stride
I shrink heads in formaldehyde
I learnt it from a magazine
South Seas aboriginal tribal dreams

I shuttered mother's room up tight
Nobody would disturb her
I've put her back in her home
How to deal with my needs
How to live within her tomb
How did he enter into this hell in hell
How did he dig up those bodies
turned into rituals and jangling bells
he dressed in their skin
this was no sin
he d-r-e-s-s-e-d in their skin
made human masks
catalogued noses and lips
Like people collect model ships

Reverie

give me black microdot
then bring me a morphine sleepy macroshot
and now bring me a coffee and cigarette
and let me lie on my hammock
and view the vivid colours
...of the sunset beach of southern goa
shimmering heat
distant busy party streets
dancing fire eating party streets
hashish smokin' meditators
and laid-back procurers of exotic wares