Our time in a torrent or in a lake deep and still
It will pass,
And strongly or weakly the wind in our sails
On and on it shall blow,
And throughout one or both, we tell our stories,
May grow old.
We dutifully took up the reigns that we were given,
In so doing with sharp rivets we were nailed upon the cross.
Our hearts tossed in tumultuous torrent rapids,
Toward the gutters and the drains deep dark underground.

And in years to come,
A man shaking his bloodied fists
And broken tears as shattered glass
Directed where the Holy Spirit reigns,
Where the swallows sing, looking upwards on high.
He never got a little tiny break,
In the stillness and the star struck night,
His spine-tingling wailing cries,
O why,
O why,
O why,
Crying for those he loved and loves,
Why oh why they had and have to die -
it's more than this man can take.

And she lives her years,
Much more and she will break,
Her baby boy sustains her and will make her smile,
But this woman needs more, she wants to wait with rapid beating heart,
She carries a vacuum heavy boulder in her heart and womb,
She needs so much more than this life this empty tomb!

An explosion of life, fireworks shoot and colours fly
So high, and the backdrop of the silver moonlit sky behind,
Let me give that to you, make love, fill that void
In which you exist.
Bring the trees with palms exotically,
The flowers trembling to life seeking warmth, the water lillies
And the pond I see, your reflection,
Your profound beauty
Rippling among the waters and flowers
In those short and desperate hours.

Woman, you know who you are,
You bring so much beauty,
It's not in you to bring despair!
One day you may find me there,
All wandering and lost
But when I see your face,
My brightening face,
I am lost no more.

AJ Buttle 19 November 2010

The Chocolate Mouse (after reading, I realise it needs plenty of work)

And he left his house....in a box...And how it began was consequence of a stolen chocolate mouse!

The food for the week was brought to his back door step,
He could stay in the house in which he thought and he wept,
For to his never-ending grief his dear kid had stolen -
She had stolen, It was a chocolate mouse!

Oh people don't laugh, it had cause and effect,
It wasn't no trifle that time had swept,
She was off to Hell because of her action

Surely her misdeed was due to a toddler's whim?
Oh Lord, it was just a chocolate mouse,
She'd not run off with someone else's house.

I'm told she's off to Hell 'cause you must not steal!
It's a sin to steal, whatever the deal,
Or that's what
That nun at school had taught me, =======

[WORKING ON THIS - SO IGNORE]

It's a sin to steal even a chocolate mouse,
That's what the nun had told me,
That you'd burn for eternity;
You'd get no respite.
A chocolate mouse!
Oh, I'm so frightened for my kid!
A chocolate mouse,
It's all she ever did,
Steal a chocolate mouse! [trail off]

"Oh, you, nun, what did you do to my head?
"You've petrified me!
"She's a good girl, I tell yer she truly is,
"She doesn't deserve to burn in flames forever!
"Didn't Jesus say that He'd forgive?
"Oh you, nun, deliver my kid,
"Oh please will you deliver my kid?
"Tell me you must have sinned indeed you did",
I asked the nun respectfully?
"Tell me, tell me what you did,
"God help me!
"Not a chocolate mouse you stole, 'cause you're way too thin too thin,
"No, I'm a nun and I never did sin" she told me,
"Apart of course from that passed on,
"Just like you 'n' your kid if y'all never done wrong
"But your girl, she has done wrong!"
Said nun to me, tones of mocking superiority:
"It is God that deemed sin,
"It wasn't me,
"I didn't scheme this creed,
"It wasn't me that made our dear Son bleed
"So don't blame me, 'cause I'm way too thin
"Never a chocolate mouse did I steal and never did I sin!"

She must feel love,
Oh Lord! she's gotta feel love;
Children are our lambs, the are meek,
They don't go out and deliberately steal
Chocolate mice, even one a week,
When they're just three - years - old,
An innocent lamb of God turning three years old!

I don't mind saying that nun has really hurt me,
She's really hurt me so deep down inside,
And the longer I think about my little girl sufferin',
The more I cannot stand these thoughts -
The more I just wanna die!

So one day, after my one hour per week visiting right -
I'd felt despondent, resigned, all night,
And I'd bought my little sunshine girl -
(thank God she don't know her fate) -
Two chocolate mice,
And believe me, her smile and laughter made me feel so warm inside
And I loved an' laughed to see her suckin' her fingers clean of
Those chocolate mice that'd made that nun so mean.

When my baby left I wrote a letter of intent,
That my purse of money is for her alone to be spent, be there whenever she wants,
So she can buy her chocolate mice with money not lent,
(I'd got saved a hundred pounds and a lucky charm an American cent).

And a letter I wrote, this being my last will & testament.
Some pills I'd let build up that the doc had sent,
Some pills, they're meant to stop me feeling bad,
These pills, they're meant to stop me feeling sad.
But how can my doctor make me feel good
When I know a sword hangs over her head,
Knowing what will happen to my baby
When I'm dead and gone.

So I'm leavin' now,
I know when I'm beat,
I can't fight with God out on the street:
The dull orange streetlight making shadowy image,
Of a man unclothed kicking and punching at the air,
It made a spectacle, some from safe distance stood and stared
It was later they said that man was mad,
It became folklore round abouts,
The tale was sad.

So pray good folk for my beloved girl,
And pray I misheard that nun,
When I was my baby's age in years now gone,
A chocolate mouse I stole, 't was fun.
Maybe it's karma catching up, as they say,
A generation gap, my baby would pay.

Dinner plates and metal crates clashing smashing dinner hall -
For it was that remark
That the mean nun took
In her stride that had started it all.

Dedicated To Fiona Hindley nee Melland...
...written by AJ Buttle, 16 November, 2010...

Ed of the Plains (UNDER CONSTRUCTION)

there is a land barren and black
black as the witches hat and cat
you see, he just got into a bit of a mess
he didn't know the twisted mind
he babysitted for his friends
he was seen by neighbours as simple and kind

his mother was a dominant woman
she had everything ruled like a hundred lines
you say god hates sinners 100 times
if you did wrong in her wide righteous eyes
you'd wish the day would take you away
and there'd never been this cruel cruel world
but she is right,so right, god is within her
she is RIGHT,
and anyone who disrespected her
his eyes would narrow and redden
he'd dream of gettin' them
and gettin' them real good
good that they're swimmin'
yeah, they're swimmin' in their own blood
their own blood
(he killed his brother with a shovel) SCREAM
said it was a shooting accident
his grieving mother did not forget
and she'd hit the other son with THE gavel

she died
there she lied
no peace for her
he dug her grave in silver light
the minister didn't know anything about
how she liked her hair brushing
how if she heard a cuss word
her cheeks would be red blood red
yeah he dug his mother up
...and that was when things started to get real weird
the walls once white turned a-red
these colours of anger and sadness in his head
"oh mother read the good book for me
just like you used to every night
i won't complain, i've seen the light
teach me about Jesus and Jonah
those people'd thought i'd outgrown yer
i'll hold your dress until the sun has dried the earth
until the cars turn to rust
until all objects man made turn to dust
I'll hold you while you just rest
I'll look after your Sunday best
Thunderbolts won't come upon me
Lightening strikes so bright will show my path -
The righteous path I stride
I shrink heads in formaldehyde
I learnt it from a magazine
South Seas aboriginal tribal dreams

I shuttered mother's room up tight
Nobody would disturb her
I've put her back in her home
How to deal with my needs
How to live within her tomb
How did he enter into this hell in hell
How did he dig up those bodies
turned into rituals and jangling bells
he dressed in their skin
this was no sin
he d-r-e-s-s-e-d in their skin
made human masks
catalogued noses and lips
Like people collect model ships

Reverie

give me black microdot
then bring me a morphine sleepy macroshot
and now bring me a coffee and cigarette
and let me lie on my hammock
and view the vivid colours
...of the sunset beach of southern goa
shimmering heat
distant busy party streets
dancing fire eating party streets
hashish smokin' meditators
and laid-back procurers of exotic wares

I NEED to GO GO GO

Sunset in Goa

Hope

what is this life without travel?
what is this life without love?
What is this life without children?
What is this life without vigour and youth?
Subtle harmonies come into play
How to harmonize your mind
To enjoy this life I've been given
To see the fish, to feel free
To be unburdened with problems
To see the children laugh and laugh with me
To see my dear love smiling up at me
My child looking down at his loving daddy
My daddy looking consciously happily

I'm drowning in expectation
I'm seething with my failings
Have I the strength to exorcise this negativity?
Life, just come my way and I won't let you down
I promise I'll take you and my friends to town
And you'll let me sleep smelling your long brown hair
And I'll see you sleeping and leaping bravely in the air
You shall be silhouetted by the ocean sea
And you will be silhouetted in our unfamiliar liberty

The time is closing in now
The crux of life is coming
Nobody knows
What could happen
But me
God give me the strength to see
What is awaiting with your strength for me
Through my eyes such intensity
Give me some rest in the Autumn breeze
And on leaves so gold I'll give myself to thee
For God is Love and love I know
Even in blizzards, the rains, the cold
I hope no deeper I have to go
Where the deeper you sink
Like the Behemoth in fathoms
Below
And the deeper you go
The harder to throw
Off this yoke of isolation
Beneath dense drifts of snow
And the worse is the worse to know
It's you alone that's told you where to go
Hiding cold alone in deep drifting snow

Sweetheart dig dig dig me out
Of this frozen snow
Lie me in front of your hot fire
And I'll do nothing but love love you so

AJ Buttle (with laptop in the drifting snow) November 12, 2010

I Give To You

You are my Sweetheart
You are my Friend
You are the Lover in my Dreams
You weave among the meadow flowers
You soar above the city towers
You swoop to fix the fledgling bird
You see a rabbit and by reflex swerve
You kiss me with such tenderness
Your kiss I return like an arrow so true
Your love our love takes away our blues

I give to you my heart
I give to you my soul
I know you will give me tenderness
I know your heart is gold
I know you'll lie by the river for me
I know you'll do all to make us see
I know we'll see the beauty in curiosity
I know we'll live in love's strange liberty
I know we'll flow in the skies and we'll see

We will see
We'll see the swallow swooping
We'll hear the hyena laughing
And it's silhouette swooning
Laughing at the moon
Laughing at the moon
Hyena don't care, laughing at the moon
We will see
Yeah, we'll see again

A compromise here, a compromise there
A young whippersnapper sat naked on the stairs

AJ Buttle Oct 2010

I Wanna Be Her Boa

I gaze at the fire
Feel the heat that it brings
I look in the flames and see
My first true love
And I remember her voice her sing

I see her crying in sadness
And I see her tears running
Along the river with laughter

What comes in strength
Abundant in truth
Out my heart and out my soul
Is to wrap my whole self around her
As a Boa Constrictor
To protect her
To adorn her in her bridal gown
She effortlessly reveals in her love

If she cuts herself with a knife
I'll heal that opening with my hands and heart
Every drop of blood I'll rinse away
With our sadness as though it did never start

AJ Buttle October 2010

The Moulded Murderer

He could give himself to everyone
But the ones that loved him
He could give himself to all
Those that had moulded him into another
'TOXIC AVENGER'
Yeah, he could throw himself
Like a stick of dynamite
Upon those that adorned him
Yes my friend
He was ready to explode
He was all ready to explode

But he could not throw himself on those
That had imprisoned him
He's a feral pussy in his cleaned-out cage
Walking that walk
To and fro to and fro
And people just seein' he wants OUT
And that's what he'd even yell n'' shout:
"I'm down and out, I'm down and out"
But he'll rollon his back all a-ready for
His tomcat tummy tickled
By his Jailers
And then he'll purr and purr and purr...

And those that'd free him
He'd go for their throats
With decisice incisor teeth

No, even in the Last of Days
He won't 'stop the clocks'
To plagiarise
A poet's line
To think upon those Last of Days
To think a rubber
Can erase
The build-up
To these
Last of Days

AJ Buttle October 2010

FANTASTIC PERFORMANCE FROM GRINDERMAN

My Angel's Descent

My angel's descent from the heavens
All dressed up in her bridal gown
Yes, dressed in her princess dream bridal gown
Adorned in her eyes of blue
Dressed for the sacred ceremonial rites

All coming together in pure ecstatic happiness
A woman with pure heart fills mine

I wonder if I'm dreaming

And tonight we will become one
I see your soft doe eyes a-glowin'
With anticipation come the initiation rites
We were dancing With the fairies in the sun
Yes it was our blessed night
And We'll venture down to the fertile seas
And we will kiss the stars and beam like the sun

A J Buttle October 2010

So Many Thoughts

Got so many thoughts
Streaming and Steaming
A maze of streams and screams
And Yells and Cries
And Laughin'
And Dyin'

Those streams of consciousness
There's sharp stones to be softened
And to understand that 2 is 2
To not enquire
To not enquire what to do
To not question
To just flow along the deepenin' river
That vast earth river a-movin' slow

GRINDERMAN AT MANCHESTER - BEST GIG I'VE EVER BEEN TO - HEATHEN CHILD